The Loss Of A Pet

I'm certainly not known for being transparent about my emotions, obviously not one of my finer traits. To be straight, my family is short a member today. Our dog, Ginger, of 15 years, passed away peacefully today at a emergency vet in my hometown. She lived a happy, comfortable life under our care, something any beloved pet deserves. In her final moments, she was surrounded by the ones that loved her ever so much. Our decision for euthanasia stemmed from a few years of declining health. While we had endured close calls in the past, we knew that this time, the damage was becoming too severe. Her quality of life was gone, and we did not want to prolong the suffering of someone we consider family, for so many years.

I've endured the loss of pets in my lifetime. From hamsters, fish, a rabbit, and so forth. But never a dog, not like this. I almost lost my cat Shadow several months ago, but was sparred his untimely loss due to the assistance of wonderful veterinary care, and the unyielding support of my family, and very close friend (I may not say it enough, but it meant the world to me). I was scarred, incredibly so. I'm just glad that "You'll get through this..." weren't my final words to him.

I received the news of Ginger's rapid decline just yesterday evening. I had been preparing for this, for at least two years. I got the call from my mother, and we had talked about her condition, and both accepted what needed to be done. I wasn't scarred this time. This certainly didn't lessen the blunt of the pain, but I was able to find acceptance of the situation early on. Many of my friends have had to endure the loss of a pet. Each one grieved differently. I knew my situation would be no different. The relationship a person has with their pet, I've found, never parallels the relationship of any other pairing. But still, I reached out for support, and did research on the matter. I knew my story was going to be different, even if my tears seem the same.

I wanted to be there for her final breath. After 15 years, I wasn't going to leave her alone after all this time. When you love someone, or something, you're there until the very end. I saw my beloved dog scared, and in pain. I don't know if she knew what was happening. You always hope that your pet can understand you in some form. We witnessed her final moment, and said our final goodbyes. I had always told Ginger that I loved her in the past. That's why, as I was the last to leave the exam room, I simply said "Thank you." Thank you, for being the best pet you could possibly be. Thank you, for enriching our family, with your never ending perk, your enthusiasm for relaxation, and your insatiable appetite...

I know everyone grieves differently. I know my brother, my father, and my mother, will work through this pain in their own way and at their own pace. I am crying now, because a wonderful 15 year legacy has come to a close. Her existence, and her passing, has made me further realize how much I love my pets. My three cats, Shadow, Brooke, and Olivia, and my dog Winston. I of course can't help but think about when it will be there time. The loss of a pet is unique and more painful then logic may suggest.

I watched Ginger, our cherished family member pass away today, and though I'm heartbroken, and uncertain of the feelings to come; I spent the majority of my life with that dog, and you know what? I wouldn't trade the love, and the loss, for anything in the world.

Again, "thank you".

 

10/31/98 - 04/28/14

All The Updates!

Welp, made it to 2014. Figured it was worth reviving an old-ass blog, that has someone further mutated into Google’s rectum (ala YouTube). Rectum morphing aside, 2013 has been a busy year for me personally. Starting a full time job back in Spring certainly took out a lot of free time, but hey, financial security is always a plus. It’s certainly been a playing factor in regards to the output of new content. SWT [Silentwulf Thrift] is a big step for me,  in regards to film. Organization is not my strong suite, so I’m learning a lot as I go. Writing scripts being the most damning factor. There are plenty of ideas ready to be put down on paper and filmed, so there’s endless potential for content. I plan to resume production within the next week or so. Three scripts under my belt, and all that’s left to do is film, and edit.

Another major project would be the “reboot” of Silentwulf.Com. A website so outdated it deserves its own AOL Keyword. Without a doubt, it’s been a project that’s needed to happen for years. I’ve documented some of the intent behind it, major factor now is setting aside the time to get it done. I will say, that it’s now going to be a complete and total reboot. Literally wiping the server clean and starting from scratch. That means, for any lingering members that are reading this, the “Silentwulf Forum” will be wiped out, and rebuilt. It’s an archaic mess internally and externally, and trying to integrate it into a new website, would be more trouble than it’s worth. My ideal period for starting all of this, will be this Spring. Once I have the website built offline, I’ll announce a concrete date before I flush the toilet, and bid farewell to the old.

As some have noticed, I’ve been re-uploading older videos over the past month or so. Primary reason being, the original online versions were rendered in at a very low resolution and bitrate. Remember, this was before the surge of streaming video. The original Funny Faces predates the height of YouTube. For most of my old crap, I still have the master renders. They’re saved at the standard video resolution, same as the source content, and are uncompressed. In short, they don’t look or sound like muddled shit. I’m uploading a few here and there as I go. Once Silentwulf.Com is rebooted, all old content that isn’t purged, will be re-uploaded to a streaming format.

So that’s the bulk of the situation. Plenty of work ahead. I’m tickled shitless about it :D

Also, I've started streaming game content (because everyone and their dead cat does it). I tend to hop on during the weekdays in the evening. It's nothing spectacular...but maybe someday I'll tackle Sonic The Hedgehog '06. Because if I'm going to commit suicide...I want a 30 second loading screen before I draw my final breath.

twitch.tv/silentwulf